Category Archives: Shreds

When you examined the wreck, what did you see?

Madison, Lake Mendota, a Sunday. These waters will never drag a man down. They will never claim a human life, unless someone snorts up the wrong kind of single-celled buddy, or drunkenly tacks a sail at the wrong moment. Still, … Continue reading

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From the plastic tray of desolation

If you’re an off-brand, second-tier fast-food chain fading from relevance, you shouldn’t be able to adopt a flashy new marketing campaign. You shouldn’t be able to just pay someone to make absurdist commercials with your name arbitrarily involved. Since eating … Continue reading

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Simply look around and view it

The term “bro” probably has about six months of funny left in it, so here goes. A Friday night on the Capitol Square in Madison. A 22-year-old, maybe a bro, maybe a barely-bro, in cargo shorts and a modest green … Continue reading

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I don’t know but I been told

Clutching some plastic bags, walking down State Street, a man chants “Re-call Wal-ker!” There’s something disembodied and tired about it. Half a block behind him, another one starts up in response. It could be a jogging chant from Full Metal … Continue reading

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Tiny dog wounds

The small scars are hardly worth your while. There’s a new little tooth-carving in your arm that’s more than a scratch but less than a flesh wound. It’s aching and livid. An hour later, nothing impressive. It leaves behind a … Continue reading

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Famous Original Ray’s House of Aging

Matlock is on at 10:30 a.m. Andy Griffith is explaining how someone at an insurance company perpetrated fraud by creating a series of fake death certificates. A row of assisted-living residents are watching, most from wheelchairs. Will this be comforting … Continue reading

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Sprawlway Serenade

People are crossing a super-wide road in the middle of speeding traffic. “Those people are doing a shitty job of crossing the street.” A man is standing in a left-turn lane. “That guy is standing in the left-turn lane.” A … Continue reading

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